McCainisms

Are you running for warden or president?

2008-10-08T16:25:00.002-04:00

This is the same agenda I've set before my fellow prisoners...

Hugo of Arabia

2008-09-30T15:20:00.000-04:00

Ensuring that America is secure, and not dependent on oil from people like Hugo Chavez or other parts of the Middle East which is, we know, could be destabilized under certain sets of circumstances.

I know because John McCain was there too

2008-09-29T07:46:00.001-04:00

Dinosaurs and humans walked the Earth at the same time.

-- Then-mayor Sarah Palin on her religious beliefs

And you "lax" good grammar

2008-09-18T21:04:00.000-04:00

Oversight has been lack.

I wish I was one of them

2008-09-16T13:48:00.001-04:00

Many Americans are not paying taxes at all.

McCain's other divorce

2008-09-13T08:52:00.000-04:00

It's easy for me to go to Washington, and frankly, be somewhat divorced from the day-to-day challenges people have.

National security, you say?

2008-09-12T13:12:00.001-04:00

Well, you say you're sure she has the experience, but again, I'm just asking for an example, what experience does she have in the field of national security?

Energy. She knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the United States of America. She's a governor of a state where 20% of America's energy supply comes from there. And we all know that energy is a critical and vital national security issue. We've got to stop sending $700 billion of American money to countries that don't like us very much. She's very well versed on that issue. And, uh, she also happens to represent, be governor of a state that's right next to Russia. She understands Russia.

Now featuring Palinsims

2008-09-04T10:12:00.001-04:00

As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?

Just don't ask how many shoes he owns

2008-08-21T09:18:00.001-04:00

I think -- I'll have my staff get to you. ... It's condominiums where -- I'll have them get to you.

-- When asked how many houses he owns

Money can't buy me common sense

2008-08-18T09:25:00.000-04:00

How about $5 million?

-- When asked at what income level a person becomes rich

Hello? Iraq?

2008-08-13T22:22:00.001-04:00

In the 21st century nations don't invade other nations.

-- McCain on the Russian-Georgian conflict

So who's going to answer the phone at 3 a.m.?

2008-08-09T08:30:00.001-04:00

If I put in three or four 18-hour, 20-hour days in a row, I'm not sharp. It's just a fact. I'm more sharp if I get a little rest. ... It seems to help me to get up a little later in the morning.

Are you sure it doesn't sound like dependence on Foreign oil?

2008-08-05T17:47:00.004-04:00

This is my first time here, but I recognize that sound. It's the sound of freedom.

-- To fans at the Sturgis biker rally

Best AmeriCanadian athletes?

2008-07-24T16:33:00.002-04:00

Wayne Gretzky is one of the all-time best American athletes.

[link]

Verb tenses.... BAD!

2008-07-23T23:16:00.002-04:00

We will succeed, we have succeeded and we will win the war in Iraq.

Who are you going to believe? Me or some map?

2008-07-21T12:03:00.002-04:00

We have a lot of work to do and I'm afraid it's a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq/Pakistan border.

And their neighbor, the Soviet Union

2008-07-14T16:52:00.001-04:00

I was concerned about a couple of steps that the Russian government took in the last several days. One was reducing the energy supplies to Czechoslovakia.

[link]

Ummmmmmmm...

2008-07-10T10:02:00.000-04:00

Reporter: It was unfair that insurance companies cover Viagra but not birth control. Do you have an opinion on that?

McCain: [8-second pause] I do not know enough about it to give you an informed answer.

In case the whole bombing plan doesn't work out

2008-07-08T12:35:00.000-04:00

"Maybe that's a way of killing 'em." -- Responding to a report of increased cigarette sales to Iran.

YouTube strikes again

2008-07-02T23:10:00.002-04:00

Robin Roberts: "You have admitted that you're not exactly an expert when it comes to the economy."

McCain: "I have not. I have not. I actually have not."

McCain at a town hall meeting in January 2008:

You say Sudan, I say Somalia

2008-07-01T22:58:00.003-04:00

McCain: "How can we bring pressure on the government of Somalia?"
Aide: "Sudan."
McCain: "Sudan."

[link]

The cost of tea in China

2008-06-28T10:36:00.002-04:00

REPORTER: "When was the last time you pumped your own gas and how much did it cost?"

McCAIN: "Oh, I don't remember. Now there's Secret Service protection. But I've done it for many, many years. I don't recall and frankly, I don't see how it matters."

[link]

Is it still a joke when it's not funny?

2008-06-27T13:25:00.003-04:00

Interviewer: "Are you running away from the Arizona governor and his approval rating they way you're running from the president?"

McCain: [chuckling] "And I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago."

Oil prices and Iraq and Afghanistan, oh my!

2008-06-25T08:39:00.001-04:00

I also want to make sure that we will take concrete steps towards eliminating our dependence on foreign oil. And I am confident that uh, the, the conflicts that we are in in both Iraq and Afghanistan have also a bearing on that.

Patriotism doesn't come easy

2008-06-15T14:37:00.002-04:00

I'll admit to you that it's tough, it's tough in some respects [to be proud of your country].

[link]

Oops, I forgot about YouTube

2008-06-12T23:21:00.001-04:00

But I'm not for quote privatizing Social Security, I never have been, I never will be.

[New Hampshire Town Hall, 06/12/08]

Without privatization, I don't see how you can possibly, over time, make sure that young Americans are able to receive Social Security benefits.

[C-Span Road to the White House, 11/18/2004]

Hey, John: Mac or PC?

2008-06-11T14:58:00.007-04:00

Neither. I am a illiterate that has to rely on my wife for all of the assistance I can get.

The War on Beer

2008-06-10T12:23:00.001-04:00

I will veto every single beer -- uh, bill -- with earmarks.

Great Googley moogley

2008-06-09T13:08:00.002-04:00

You know, basically it's a Google.

I didn't say that unless I did. Oh, I did?

2008-06-07T13:01:00.000-04:00

June 3: "The media often overlooked how compassionately [Clinton] spoke to the concerns and dreams of millions of Americans."

June 7: "I did not [say that] -- that was in prepared remarks, and I did not [say it]."

For the little ones

2008-06-04T12:29:00.001-04:00

We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies.

Rebuild it? Tear it down? Whatever.

2008-04-21T13:46:00.000-04:00

April 21: "That's why we need to go back [to Ninth Ward]," he said, "to have a conversation about what to do about it. Rebuild it? Tear it down? Ya know, whatever it is."

April 24: "I don't remember ever saying it."

You say Sunnis, I say Shi'ites

2008-04-08T12:42:00.001-04:00

[al Qaida in Iraq is] certainly not an obscure sect of the Shi'ites.

You know my friend Herr Putin, right?

2008-03-23T12:32:00.001-04:00

I was at a conference in Germany over the weekend, and President Putin of Germany gave one of the old Cold War-style speeches as he addressed the conference there.

Iran's doing which on the what now?

2008-03-18T12:36:00.002-04:00

It's common knowledge and has been reported in the media that al Qaida is going back into Iran and revceiving training and are coming back into Iraq from Iran. That's well-known. ... I'm sorry, the Iranians are training extremists, not al Qadia.

Sure, but it's not like my opponent's wife said it

2008-03-13T23:28:00.001-04:00

HANNITY: You spent two years of this five-and-a-half-year period in solitary confinement. What does that do to a person, to spend that much time in solitary confinement?

MCCAIN: I think it makes you a better person. Obviously, it makes you love America. I really didn't love America until I was deprived of her company.

He'll get you coming and going

2008-02-28T12:48:00.001-05:00

I'm a proud conservative, liberal Republican.

Let's scratch that one off the talking points

2008-02-25T12:51:00.001-05:00

I will not and cannot have the war impact my political ambitions.

John McCain, meet John McCain

2008-01-27T17:36:00.003-05:00

Actually, I don't know where you got that quote from. I'm very well-versed in economics.

McCain admitted just a few days later on "Meet the Press" that he had said just that.

In fact, I hate everyone who uses a computer

2007-12-29T16:02:00.001-05:00

Now we've got the cables. We've got talk radio. We've got the bloggers. I hate the bloggers.

Yeah, see that country no longer exists

2007-10-21T17:33:00.000-04:00

McCain says the United States should set up a missile defense system in Czechoslovakia. We assume he meant the Czech Republic.

See, when I said "unarmed," I meant "heavily armed"

2007-03-28T12:54:00.002-04:00

Genneral Patraeus goes out almost every day in an unarmed Humvee.

Because you, my friend, are lazy

2006-05-05T09:14:00.001-04:00

Now, my friends, I'll offer anybody here $50 an hour if you'll go pick lettuce in Yuma this season and pick for the whole season. So — OK? Sign up. OK.

You sign up. You sign up, and you'll be there for the whole season, the whole season. OK? Not just one day. Because you can't do it, my friend.